You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
