now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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