But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
