you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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