Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
