Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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