office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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