I cockslap morals
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
