Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
