just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
