I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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