what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
