garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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