Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
