I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
