you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
People in love make me want to vomit
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
vagina is talking i cant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
