Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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