the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
