i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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