Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
