and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
