So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
