Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
