Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
