I cockslap morals
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
