you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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