Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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