I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
