If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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