I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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