So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're a waste of cheezeits
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
