I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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