The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
