you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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