So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
