May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
