U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
