loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
