Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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