nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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