Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
