it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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