Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I'm really busy with my period
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