I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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