What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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