And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
