So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
