My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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