How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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