I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
