I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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