Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
