We're facebook friends in real life
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
