she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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