On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
