His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The Olympian is in my bed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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